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Muslim Dating: The Reality of our Ummah?

When people ask “do Muslims date?” A big chunk of Muslims will quickly respond with a “Hell No!” Because remember that Hadith about Shaytaan being the third? Exactly, so of course Muslims don’t date, commit adultery, drink alcohol or break any other Quranic tenet. Muslims are perfect angels with no faults.....right?

If you’ve lived among any muslims, have muslim friends, went to islamic school, or if you're simply socially awkward and don't have any friends, then you'll know from your own experience, that the reality is that muslims aren't very different from the rest of society. Muslims indulge in all of these acts, but the only difference is that it's all done in secrecy, in a hush-hush secret alternative reality where it’s better to sweep your shame under the carpet, than to dreadfully advertise your sins - note: this blog is NOT attempting to convince you to now start advertising your sins!!

You don't need to travel far and wide to witness this phenomenon. Take a short trip to the beautiful city of Toronto, any workplace, college or university and you'll find the percentages of Muslim individuals involved in dating, sex, drinking, drugs, etc is actually very high, which is no different than a city, workplace or school with a Judeo-Christian majority.

If you’ve ever visited fatwa sites online, similar to our Ask an Imam section, you'll see that our Muslim youth aren’t living a sin-free life. I remember a young man once wrote the site asking for advice about his ‘problem.’ You see this young man, an aspiring Sheikh, was attracted to men and he didn’t know how to keep his faith and battle his desires. Another girl wrote asking what to do with a man she loves and is on the verge of committing adultery with him because her practicing beautiful Muslim family won’t allow her to marry him.

Young men and women write daily to these outlets asking for a solution. They grew up hearing that it’s haraam to do this and that, yet an alternative was never presented. And when their sins are revealed they are shunned from the community, especially if they're female.

I know a number of pious and well regarded youth in my community who live double lives. A simple facebook or myspace check will tell you all. It’s very sad that everyone around them, including their young fellow Muslim friends, are aware of this double life but the parents are in the dark. I don’t pity the parents because they CHOOSE not to understand their children. Parents assume their child would never be like so and so’s bad child. But I've got news for them, THEY DO and sometimes they are worse!

Some religious scholars will advise youth to fast or play sports. But in the day and age we live in , is that really enough? Has it been effective thus far? I don’t think so.

I think it’s time for the Muslim Ummah collectively to stop turning a blind eye and face REALITY.  Anytime this topic is brought up, thte speaker (or writer) is looked at and thought of as a sinner, instead, lets face this issue head on and deal with it.  Obviously the previous ‘plan’ hasn’t worked. Our Ummah collectively aren’t becoming more Godly but instead many are turning away from their religion all together. The way we deal with our children needs to change NOW.

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    2017-08-22 22:57:46

    Meilani Lim

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    2016-04-03 18:29:34

    shareefMuslimah

    I never understood why they first keep telling you not to talk to men well because you will be given a bad name in the society. Then when you are getting older and its getting harder to find someone, then they actually force you to talk to the opposite gender. By that time, you have become so isolated and awkward it's hard to talk to strangers all of a sudden.

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  • ai96sd
    2015-02-16 14:27:14

    ai96sd

    I love how truthful this article can get. Finally, someone has posted the truth.

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