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Want to find Mr. Mashallah? We Show you how to Attend a Mens Only Halaqa

Yes, that’s right sisters, you read correctly, attending a mens-only halaqa is a fail proof way to meet your future husband(s).

Here are some advantages of attending an all men’s halaqa:

1. No Competition - there will be no women to compare you to, unless another girl has the same plan as you and shows up. If this happens look at her with an appalled look on your face, say “astaghfurallah!!”, and leave. This way you look like the good one and will immediately have all the brothers in love with you.

2. Won’t be categorized into the astagfurlilah girl category - they will be so tired of all the testosterone they are surrounded by and so thankful for the incoming estrogen they will just fall in love and not even think about you're not supposed to be there.

3. Most importantly, will find a nice, Muslim brother - this can’t be guaranteed.

 

You’re probably thinking we’re geniuses and that you should've attended an all guy’s halaqa a long time ago. The idea is great, we know, but executing the plan is a bit difficult. There are two ways to accomplish this task: 1. pretend it is accidental or 2. weasel your way into getting invited. Either route you take, here are some step by step instructions on what you should do when you arrive to the circle of face-glowing- of-noor men.


1st step: Wear a swarovski abaya. Also make sure your make-up is did. Put on your scarf, even if you don’t normally wear one this would be the appropriate time to put one on. Showing your bangin bangs is acceptable.


2nd step: Bring a pen and paper so you can write notes and look prepared. (By “notes” we mean ranking the men you see from 1-10, and writing pro/con lists). Just make sure you write “Bismillah ar-rahman ar-rahim” on the top just in case someone glances at your paper so that they will think you’re pious.


3rd step: When you enter the room say “Oh wow, I’m sad none of the girls showed up” and take a seat in the circle… not in the middle of the circle (don’t get too excited).


4th step: Ask a long, intelligent question. Check which guy can’t take his eyes off of you. If he’s a 7 or above, move on to the next step. If he’s below a 7, attend next week’s halaqa and wait until a 7+ has fallen for you, or until a <7 becomes >7. (If you cannot think of an intelligent question just pretend a bug bit you and scream). 


5th step: Approach guy after halaqa and ask him about something you didn’t understand or missed. Crack a joke while you’re at it… and exchange e-mail addresses (and wedding bands) - but make sure your moms are on facetime so it's halal....technically speaking!


 

Note:  The above blog post is ONLY meant for entertainment purposes.  We in no way advocate actually implementing the above tactics.  We simply hope you get a good laugh out of these posts :)

 

 

  • Image Not Available
    2017-08-22 23:21:29

    Meilani Lim

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    2016-04-03 18:13:58

    shareefMuslimah

    lol omg, this is so funny. lol @ them thinking you're pious because you wrote Bismillah on it. Good one lol.

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  • sabaa
    2013-07-27 02:47:18

    sabaa

    Omg!!! Soo funny, def made me laugh:)

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  • alia
    2013-01-16 01:55:45

    alia

    OMG this is so funny, where is the LIKE button on this?!?? haha

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  • Saba
    2013-01-09 13:23:33

    Saba

    This is literally LOL funny, good job guys!

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